Grief's Waters: Reflections on Loss, Healing, and Emotional Turmoil
This week's Torah portion Chukat - Balak focuses on the theme of death and grief as Miriam, the sister of Aaron and Moses, passes away. Her death has an unexpected consequence for the Israelites, who find themselves without water. The Rabbis of our tradition have long connected Miriam with the water the Israelites drank. Without water, a vital resource leads to panic and fear among the Israelites as they worry about their survival.
In response to their desperate situation, Moses prays to God. God tells Moses to assemble the Israelites, find a rock, and order the rock to yield water. God promises Moses that water will flow from the rock. But Moses does something a little differently; instead, he strikes the rock not once but twice out of anger—copious amounts of water flow from the rock, quenching the thirst of the Israelites.
However, the consequence of Moses' action is severe. God informs him that he will not be allowed to enter the Promised Land. This is a significant blow to Moses, who has endured numerous challenges throughout the journey with the Israelites. Yet, despite all his trials, this incident highlights the profound emotional toll that grief can have on a person.
Moses' behavior of striking the rock out of anger can be seen as an expression of his inner turmoil and grief. When individuals are grieving, their emotions can become heightened and volatile, causing them to act in ways that deviate from their usual behavior. Moses, grappling with the loss of his beloved sister Miriam and anticipating the imminent death of his brother Aaron, may have been overwhelmed by a sense of loss, vulnerability, and frustration. His act of striking the rock may have been an outlet for his pent-up emotions.
This episode offers a valuable lesson about the process of grief and the importance of acknowledging and embracing our pain. It reminds us that it is essential not to suppress or run away from the grief we experience. Although confronting the pain of loss can be difficult, it is necessary for healing. By allowing ourselves to feel and acknowledge our grief fully, we can gradually begin to heal and find solace.
This process of grief can apply to other types of grief, such as the end of a marriage or a relationship or the loss of something one has worked hard to achieve. It is worth noting that throughout this challenging period, the Israelites continue to complain and make demands of Moses, seemingly unaware or unconcerned with Moses' grief. This lack of empathy and understanding likely exacerbates Moses' emotional state, making it more understandable why he reacts angrily toward the rock. In such circumstances, where external pressures compound grief, finding healthy outlets for our emotions and seeking support from understanding individuals becomes even more crucial.
In summary, Moses' act of striking the rock out of anger can be attributed to his grieving process and his confrontation with his own mortality. This Torah portion serves as a reminder that grief can distort our usual emotions and behaviors, and it encourages us to confront and embrace our pain in order to heal. Furthermore, it emphasizes the importance of empathy and support from others during times of grief. It reminds us to extend compassion to those who are grieving and to seek healthy ways to cope with our emotions, even in the midst of challenging circumstances. If I were grieving, I'd hit a rock out of anger instead of speaking to it.
Shabbat Shalom
